Hello to all of my online friends!

Today I awoke with many interesting thoughts on my mind that I want to share with you. I use the word "interesting" because I am such a private person and sometimes have a difficult time sharing such intimate moments. Pray for me.

If you grew up with a parent or parents addicted to drugs and/or alcohol this entry is for you. You see, my mother as well as many of my relatives were addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. Whew! There, I said it. Now to them, they simply "drank." But the truth is they were addicted. My thought this morning took me back to a night when I was on a date with a boyfriend. As we were heading home from a wonderful evening he looks over at me and says, "Isn't that your mama?" I simply mumbled, "yeah," with as much displeasure as I could. How dare he ask me such a question? Didn't he realize that I didn't want to be associated with the drunk woman standing on the corner? That by the way, WAS my mother. Didn't he realize that those words pierced my heart as well as any dagger could have? Didn't he know?

Whether he knew or not about my feelings at the time is not important. What's important is how I felt about myself. I was angry with her for her public display and with him for noticing that she was drunk and standing on the corner. Today, studies show that there are more than seven million children with a parent who is an alcoholic. So I am not alone. But of course, at the time I felt so alone. I was embarrassed, but didn't quite know what to do with my embarrassment.The same is with you. How do you handle the embarrassments in your life? Do you lash out in anger at your parent(s), your friends, yourself? Do you look to a boyfriend or girlfriend to ease your pain through sexual involvement? Or, have you become so self destructive, so numb to the pain, that you don't even know how you have handled the conflict in your life?It's not your fault that your parent uses. It's not your fault that they drink and/or use drugs.

Let me say it again. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! Now, move on with your life. Start this year, 2009, knowing that you have a choice. A choice to do whatever you want to do in your life. Your parents substance use does not define who you are now or who you will become in the future. They use not you.

Your Assignment: Write down 5 things that you would like to change in your life and why. Then write how you are going to make the changes.

Make the change,
Camille